"Chicken" patties

So the cooking instructions for the soy chicken patties that I am having for lunch read:
Bake for approximately 4 1/2 to 8 minutes on each side.
That's a pretty big margin for error for a tiny patty. Why don't they just say, "We have no idea how long this will take. Your guess is as good as ours"? "Heat this until it looks appetizing to you, which may be never, depending on whether or not you have an aversion to soy products."
By the way, Morningstar definitely makes the best faux chicken products and veggie burgers out there in the world of Publix frozen food. I recommend the "buffalo wings." My housemate likes the "riblets," but I'm scared of them.
I've been applying for lots of JOBS! and INTERNSHIPS! lately, so hopefully at some point in the near future I will have more interesting things to report than what I am eating for lunch. If with this bout of applications I fail to procure steady employment that does not require that I wear a uniform, I will start looking out of state.
Florida is putting a damper on my social life--since I've graduated college, I've been asked out once, and it was by an 80 year old man with a saliva problem. I turned him down. I usually don't like to become acquanted with another person's saliva until at least the second or third date.
Yes, everyone in Sarasota is old. I basically live in a retirement community with Florida's smallest public university plopped down in the middle of it.
Our next door neighbor is French, and he likes to do yardwork. He always wears a white, long-sleeved, button-down shirt, long slacks, and a hard hat. Right now I am watching him do some weeding by the side of his house. That hard hat must be pretty uncomfortable. Yesterday notre voisin came over to invite us to a meeting of the Boccie club. I hope this takes off. I am envisioning having an intergenerational Boccie tournament in our collective back yard. We could get sponsors and turn it into a campus-golf-like extravaganza! "Lawn bowling for cancer."