Big glasses

I got new glasses. And they are huge. Huge without the irony. In fact, when I wear them, I look like my mom in pictures from 1982. It's scary. Scary in a big, pink, round, plastic way.
I know what you're thinking--why did Kate, a reasonably fashionable girl, get huge, hideous, 80s glasses?
Well, they were free. They came with the contact lens deal--one pair of plastic rimmed glasses from the "free wall." OR!!! I could spend another $150 for a pair of attractive frames designed by Calvin Klein or Anne Klein or Elvis or somebody.
Since I rarely wear glasses anyway, I went with the free pair. I'm sort of attracted to the ugliness of them. It's like a train wreck on my face.
The thing is, everyone I know seems horrified that I am willing to place such an atrocity across the bridge of my nose. And they haven't even seen the glasses--nor will they ever! I have made a solemn vow never, ever to wear these glasses in public. They will be worn solely in the sanctuary of my own bedroom. Not even my roommates will be priviledged to see me in my 80s mom-like splendor. (Ok, the one person I might show is my mom, just to make her feel better for those years when she lost touch with fashion.)
You should have seen the look of disgust on the face of the woman who sold me the frames. It wasn't even worth explaining to her that no one would ever see them.
What's the big deal? Am I really turning into a matronly, unattractive spinster? Does it bother you all to know that I am wearing the pink saucers RIGHT NOW???